~ Embracing the “my” in My Camino ~
You can walk as much or as little of the Camino as you want. However, the deal is, if you want to get the “Compostela”, the certificate that you actually made the pilgrimage, the one that, according to the church, gets you into heaven, you need to show proof that you walked the last 100 miles. In the case of the Camino Frances, that means walking from Sarria into Santiago de Compostela. Lots of people start in Sarria just to get that certificate.
When I realized I didn’t have enough time to walk all the way to Santiago and then the ocean, I started thinking outside the box. There were a lot of downhill sections in front of me too, and honestly, my knee is still a thing. I decided to go rogue.
Me being me, this was never about the certificate. Heaven sounds great and all, but I’m pretty sure the God of my understanding has a place saved for me there already. Or maybe not? But honestly, who really knows anyway? At any rate, this was always about having an experience, a challenge, trying something new, stepping outside my comfort zone, opening up to the universe and living fully in each moment. My daily mantra, the way I start each walk is: I, Silvia, am on God’s time, God’s adventure. I trust the spirit to move me, protect me and show me the way. You, Silvia, are on God’s time, God’s adventure. You trust the spirit to move you, protect you and show you the way. Silvia is on God’s time, God’s adventure. She trusts the spirit to move her, protect her and show her the way.
Theme Emerges
In my second week of walking, a theme began to emerge for me that was unexpected. I realized I was on a path to make amends to my body. Starting from when I was young, I watched myself eat foods that made me sick. Unable to stop, I kept eating. Kept being sick. For 11 years starting from 13 years old, I put alcohol and other drugs in my body as if I was a lab experiment, and it is a wonder I am still alive. After that, once I got sober, I began training a fierce fighting art which on many levels made me stronger. For that I will always be grateful. But I also pushed myself to train and fight through broken bones, serious injuries and while feeling lots of pain – or pretending I didn’t. I felt I had to prove something to myself, to my teachers, to my teammates.
Over the years, thanks to recovery in AA, Al-Anon, and BLE, and thanks to therapy and the patience and love of family and friends, I’ve come to reckon with all of this and more. I live in gratitude and though I will always have the genetic predisposition to addiction, after 40 years of sobriety, my daily quest is peace, serenity and connection.
Somewhere along the Camino, I started to listen to my body with more openness, less judgment. I paid attention to how it was responding to the walking, the stretching, the load I was carrying. I started each day by checking in and then continued to make space for my body to communicate with me throughout the day. I listened. And at some point along the way, it hit me that I was building trust. Trust to listen and respond to what my body was feeling and telling me. While this isn’t by any means brand new behavior, the depth of it was quite different and paradigm shifting.
The Next Right Thing
I thought about how much time I had left in this beautiful country, what things felt most important to me and how I wanted to spend my precious days. On the elevation map in the Wise Pilgrim App, I saw all the downhill sections coming my way. I spent hours – in a hammock, on the grass in beautiful gardens and on bunk beds – with my big paper map spread out thinking and dreaming about what felt like the next best move. And I made a plan!
After Pradela, Miguel gave me a ride to Villafranca where I hopped on a bus back to Ponferrada. The Knights of Templar Castle sitting on a hill beckoned me. And sure enough, it didn’t disappoint.
From Ponferrada, I hopped on another bus to Lugo, deep in Galicia. The Mina river walk looked gorgeous (and it was!) but the really cool thing was the Roman wall. This was built in the 2nd century and is the oldest and most complete wall still standing. It completely encircles the old part of the city. You can walk all the way around the city from the top of the wall, which I did at sunrise and sunset.
From Lugo, I hopped on a train to A Coruña, a small city on the Northwestern coast of Spain. I rented an Airbnb here for a couple of nights and it is literally smack dab on the ocean. I cried when I walked in. I have walked the city, visited the oldest Roman lighthouse still in use (built in the first century!), walked the beach and swum in the cold ocean water.
Starting this thing, during all my preparations, I kept easing into trust. Relaxing into the moment. Allowing spirit to move me, protect me and show me the way. I am as happy going rogue as I was while walking the camino.
And today I hop another train. This time to Santiago de Compostela. I get to watch folks arriving all sweaty and happy from their caminos. I get to congratulate them and offer to take their photos. Later, I will go to the Cathedral pilgrim mass to celebrate with everyone else. They have this incredible incense thing they do. Let me see if I can remember to insert a link to that video.
And then, on Friday, I fly to Barcelona (one of my favorite cities in the world) and get to hang out there with Jeff (one of my favorite people in the world!) and I can’t wait!
